I had not been fishing in ten years, but it was not that which made the invitation special, that made me overflow with excitement that stemmed from validation. I had never been invited anywhere by an adult before, and it was that which made this fishing trip--oar at least the idea of it--such an extraordinary occasion. My parents were not invited. My brother and sister would not be there. What would it be like?

And Freddie Campbell Jr. was not just any adult. He was in his twenties, could drive, and had the presence of a man. I was 14, pubescent and socially inept. I think it would be a little too revisionist, even for me, to say that I had a crush on him, or even that I was attracted to him. I was definitely gay, even then, but Freddie was not the type that I would find attractive, even today. I was simply starved for attention, specifically adult, male attention. When he invited me to go fishing with him, it didn't occur to me that he may have been offering in principle, in the sense of, "We should really get together someday." The idea of that attention being granted was too intoxicating for reason to interfere.

If it had occurred to me to stop and gauge his real level of intent, I might not have spent the money on a fishing pole, tackle box, and cetera that would not see use for the ten years or so that it took me to realize that I was not really interested in fishing. I might not have bothered to wake up at 5:00 on the appointed day, and I certainly would not have sat in front of the phone for hours waiting for a call when he failed to show up at the appointed time. As it turned out, Freddie was a man's man in certain undesirable ways as well. He was an asshole.

When one researches Jehovah's Witnesses, the most common objection voiced by outsiders is not their convenient mix of literal and figurative Biblical interpretation. Nor is it the proscription on certain health procedures to which this interpretation gives rise or the air of sanctimoniousness that permeates the religion. It is the violent insulation that is necessary to keep the sheep in the dark of the herd. The process of disfellowshipping is decisive and complete. It was with baited breath, therefore, that we watched when an elder mounted the stage to deliver an announcement on certain Thursday nights. There was only reason for an Elder to deliver an announcement; they were usually above such things. When they had come to the decision to disfellowship someone, they felt obligated to deliver the news themselves. It was not long after my fishing disappointment that landborne pinniped James Tuttle mounted the stage to inform the congregation that "Frederick Campbell Junior had been disfellowshipped from the Christian congregation."